“A promising career is no better than a good husband.”  A survey conducted by the All-China Women’s Federation (ACWF) showed that one-third of both male and female respondents agreed with this saying, with the women giving a more affirmative response than the men. (Source: http://factsanddetails.com/china.php?itemid=105#02)  I am not sure how old this survey is nor if the chosen respondents were representative of the entire population and not just a certain and small demographic, but current Chinese dating trends do not seem consistent with this particular survey result.

The women of China began to explore the education and employment opportunities available to them at the beginning of the 20th century.  During those times, they were still only limited to what was available to them locally.  Many women who chose to pursue education only got as far as what their parents would allow based on what they considered the girls needed to become a suitable wife and mother.  Those who chose to work were mostly limited to menial jobs, they had to juggle work and full-time care of their family, and were paid very low wages.  Even when the status of women then was supposed to have been elevated, this supposed elevation in status remained more of a concept than a reality.  A woman was still expected to be submissive to the men in the family and completely dependent on her husband.

When the government allowed more people from rural areas to migrate to the cities, many women took advantage of this opportunity to get higher levels of education and better employment, even real careers.  Given these opportunities combined with increased western influence on modern Chinese society, the attitude of women toward themselves changed when they realized what they can do on their own and that they need not settle down right away and be completely dependent on a husband.  They began to realize that a promising career can be better than a husband.

As age-old beliefs and norms go, many traditional concepts still persist in modern-day China and men, especially, still hold a low opinion of women; many modern women also still find it hard to go against the traditional expectations that their society still has of them.  Perhaps compared to the entire female population, of marriageable age, of China, the number of women who has started to have a change in attitude about a woman’s role in society and in marriage may not be substantial, but this number will only continue to grow.

Given the recent boom in the Chinese online dating industry, single women of China who have been more focused on their careers and have not had much time for socializing, much less to engage in an active search for a life partner, are now given an easier means to interact with the opposite sex.  Numerous Chinese dating sites which also allow membership of foreign men have made these successful Chinese women aware that there are men out there who will value them and be proud of them for their achievements.  In this sense, they have also realized that having a good career is a valuable asset because it is a reflection of their worth as an independent and a strong-willed woman.

Chinese dating sites have not only served the purpose of finding a partner easier for the millions of singles of China; they have also unwittingly helped many successful women become more aware of their true value, through the admiration and respect that men from other cultures have been showing them.

Of course, anywhere in China you go, you will be able to savor the local cuisine.  But certain spots are known for offering the most authentic Chinese food.  What better way to share a memorable experience with your Chinese love than to go on a delectable food adventure with her?

Below are the top Chinese cities with the most scrumptious Chinese food offerings. 

Hong Kong is, of course, on the top of the list, offering the best in Cantonese cuisine.  This cuisine is actually the particular culinary flavor that has been made popular the world over by international Chinese restaurants.  Cantonese flavors are also the closest to those that appeal to the western palate.  Additionally, Hong Kong also offers the widest variety of and the best international cuisines.

Guangzhou, Shenzhen, and other cities along the Pearl River Delta are also great places to visit for original Cantonese food.

Beijing is a close second to Hong Kong when it comes to delicious Chinese cuisine.  Beijing boasts of its own culinary style, Jing cuisine, and also serves the best of Northeast cuisine and Mongolian food.  If you are looking for the most excellently prepared Peking duck, the city of Beijing is a must visit.

Chengdu, in Sichuan province, dishes up one of the most popular Chinese cuisines in the world, Chuan (short for Sichuan) cuisine.  It must be said that Sichuan food is only for the brave – those who can swallow, stomach, and enjoy flaming hot and spicy dishes.

Turpan, in China’s northwest, is the place that gave birth to hand-pulled noodles and whole roast lamb.  Turpan also offers delicious Muslim cuisine and Xinjian cuisine.  A must-try is the Xinjiang flatbreads, locally called “nang.”

Xiamen serves the best of Fujian cuisine, which is known for its sweet and sour flavors and for the freshest seafood.

Xi’an offers a genuine imperial feast experience with its exotic food, such as donkey and camel meat.  Located in Shaanxi province, Xi’an serves up food prepared with the distinct culinary style of China’s northwest.

They say that one of the best ways to have an authentic experience of any culture is to eat their food.  China has some of the world’s most distinctive and appetizing cuisines, and your China experience won’t be complete without treating your taste buds to the many delectable flavors of real Chinese food.  Your Chinese love will certainly be delighted to see you relishing your visit to China in every way possible.

Perhaps more importantly, you may even develop a taste for a particular Chinese cuisine.  Your cultural experience of China through their food will not only make your Chinese dating experience more fulfilling; you will have also taken one of the biggest steps toward incorporating a bit of Chinese culture into your lifestyle.  This is an important and necessary step that you will have to make, sooner or later, to make your cross-cultural relationship/marriage successful.

Discover tons of great information about China, Chinese online dating and cross-cultural relationships on OnlineChineseDating.com

Chinese food is famous the world over; authentic Chinese cooking is considered one of the most crafty, too.  Exotic Chinese ingredients are as exotic as they come.  If you will be living in China with your Chinese wife, you may have your choice of city to live in, and there are several cities you can choose from where western-style food is readily available.

If you have decent cooking skills and enjoy cooking, you won’t have to completely do without the diet you have always been used to.  Perhaps, your wife can even learn to cook some of your favorite comfort foods.

What if your choice of Chinese city or region to live in is very limited?  What if you have non-existent cooking skills?  What if your living conditions (i.e. living with your wife’s parents/family in the same house) limit your choice of food to mostly or only local dishes?

Even if you will be living with your wife in your home country, you will still have to make some adjustments to your diet to accommodate hers, especially if she has certain diet cravings or needs (i.e. certain ingredients and dishes that are not available from the local Chinese restaurant) and even more so if her parents will be living with you.  Be warned, Chinese do not adjust well to Western food and chances are your new Chinese love will insist on an all Chinese food diet, at least for herself.

Rice, noodles, and tofu are a few of the top major ingredients of most Chinese dishes.  But many others use unusual and exotic ingredients that may not agree with your palate and your stomach; some of these you may find hard to believe is actually floating in your soup or sitting on your plate.

The aforementioned saying is not an exaggeration.  The list of weird ingredients that the Chinese use in their dishes can make one cringe just by reading it.  Thousand year old eggs, bird’s nest, turtle meat, shark fin, sea cucumber, sea urchins, star fish, jelly fish, seaweed, and some wild mushrooms may still be acceptable to you.

The meat of dogs, cats, lizards, snakes, and rats are only some of the least weird and retch-inducing ingredients you will encounter in many restaurants and on the streets.  Other foods that may just make you crinkle your nose in distaste include seahorses, scorpions, grasshoppers, sparrows, and live shrimp.

And then there are certain animal parts, from both common and unusual animal food sources, that may make you lose your appetite when they are served for family dinner or at a banquet.  These include coagulated duck blood, duck feet in duck blood, goose stomach, chicken feet, pigeon brain, pork lungs, pig hoof, monkey’s head, and goat genitals, to name a few.

Of course, the possibility that you will have to give up your steak and barbecued ribs for cat meat or pig’s brain is very small; but it is still a possibility.  It is more than likely that, if you will be living in China with your wife (and even if you will be living in the same house with her family), you will be in one of the many cities or major regions where you will have better food choices, including western ones.

Just to be on the safe side, it may be a good idea for you to start learning how to cook some of your favorite dishes that use easy-to-find ingredients.  Or you can always stock up on canned food and other foods that keep from your home country.

Discover tons of great information about China, Chinese online dating, and cross-cultural relationships only at onlinechinesedating.com

Especially when someone is more used to and comfortable with expressing themselves through physical contact and actions, communication through words can be difficult and even overwhelming.  But as long as one is honest about his/her emotions, then the words should come easily.  Communication, however, is a two-way street; one must know not only how to express himself/herself effectively, but also how to listen.

Ironically, the amazing advancements in communication technology have not made it any easier for people to communicate effectively with each other, especially where relationships are concerned.  Online dating is a very good example.  Dating websites allow people from all over the world to meet and develop relationships and the various and very convenient messaging tools available online make connecting to each other as easy as clicking a button.  But relationships continue to fail despite these added technological advantages.

These advancements, of course, only provide us with better and cooler tools to stay connected; but it is still up to us to build a personal connection with another individual through effective communication.  These remarkable tools are more like extensions of our fingers and vocal chords; we still have to use our head and emotions to effectively connect to another person.

In the real world, we are also aided by our gestures and our eyes when we want to relay a message.  People who date online, however, are only limited to written and verbal communication.  They have the technology and they can also use this technology to find the right words to say; but before you can use these words to effectively connect to somebody else, you must first make sure that your words are also securely connected to your mind and emotions.

Having a secure connection between your words and your mind and feelings means expressing what you think and feel honestly.  Honesty, after all, is the most important element of effective communication.  You may use fancy words or simple ones; you may form complex sentences or beautiful poetry; you may be a very talented wordsmith.  Without honesty, however, your words will still be empty of meaning.

Honest expression, therefore, translates to effective communication.  Are you still undecided about your feelings for a woman you have been communicating with online and are you not yet ready to date her exclusively?  Let her know what the situation is so she will not have expectations that you will be unable to meet and which, in turn, may completely ruin your chances of exploring your feelings for her further should you later realize that this is what you want to do.

Do you have any intention of leaving your country and relocating to another to be with your partner?  If you don’t, make sure any potential partner you meet online understands this from the very beginning so both of you will know early enough if this is something that can still be worked out or if it is a deal-breaker.

Do you have financial obligations that you expect your future partner to help you with?  Be honest about your needs so you will not give anybody the impression that you can offer unlimited financial security.  After all, if you also have love and devotion to offer and you meet a woman who can give you the same, then helping each other out will just be a given.

Honesty from the very beginning will determine if a relationship is worth pursuing.  From here on out, effective communication with each other will naturally follow.

Failure to communicate or inability to communicate effectively; this is often the reason why relationships fail, some even before they start.  With online dating, effective communication is even more crucial because the only connection two people will have and on which they can build a relationship that they can also pursue in the real world is their online communication.

Especially when someone is more used to and comfortable with expressing themselves through physical contact and actions, communication through words can be difficult and even overwhelming.  But as long as one is honest about his/her emotions, then the words should come easily.  Communication, however, is a two-way street; one must know not only how to express himself/herself effectively, but also how to listen.

Ironically, the amazing advancements in communication technology have not made it any easier for people to communicate effectively with each other, especially where relationships are concerned.  Online dating is a very good example.  Dating websites allow people from all over the world to meet and develop relationships and the various and very convenient messaging tools available online make connecting to each other as easy as clicking a button.  But relationships continue to fail despite these added technological advantages.

These advancements, of course, only provide us with better and cooler tools to stay connected; but it is still up to us to build a personal connection with another individual through effective communication.  These remarkable tools are more like extensions of our fingers and vocal chords; we still have to use our head and emotions to effectively connect to another person.

In the real world, we are also aided by our gestures and our eyes when we want to relay a message.  People who date online, however, are only limited to written and verbal communication.  They have the technology and they can also use this technology to find the right words to say; but before you can use these words to effectively connect to somebody else, you must first make sure that your words are also securely connected to your mind and emotions.

Having a secure connection between your words and your mind and feelings means expressing what you think and feel honestly.  Honesty, after all, is the most important element of effective communication.  You may use fancy words or simple ones; you may form complex sentences or beautiful poetry; you may be a very talented wordsmith.  Without honesty, however, your words will still be empty of meaning.

Honest expression, therefore, translates to effective communication.  Are you still undecided about your feelings for a woman you have been communicating with online and are you not yet ready to date her exclusively?  Let her know what the situation is so she will not have expectations that you will be unable to meet and which, in turn, may completely ruin your chances of exploring your feelings for her further should you later realize that this is what you want to do.

Do you have any intention of leaving your country and relocating to another to be with your partner?  If you don’t, make sure any potential partner you meet online understands this from the very beginning so both of you will know early enough if this is something that can still be worked out or if it is a deal-breaker.

Do you have financial obligations that you expect your future partner to help you with?  Be honest about your needs so you will not give anybody the impression that you can offer unlimited financial security.  After all, if you also have love and devotion to offer and you meet a woman who can give you the same, then helping each other out will just be a given.

Honesty from the very beginning will determine if a relationship is worth pursuing.  From here on out, effective communication with each other will naturally follow.

Discover tons of great information about online dating and cross-cultural relationships on OnlineChineseDating.com

Many Chinese women on a reputable international Chinese dating site often have decent English skills. There may be some whose English skills are poor but they are often willing to keep learning and improving themselves. If the woman you’re interested in is one of the latter, your mutual interest in each other will also help her practice and improve her English. In the meantime, the two of you can still get to know each other better if you know how to foster effective communication.

How do you do this? It is like taking the lead in a dance; when you and your special China lady friend are chatting online, you can take the lead by asking the right questions.

You can easily gauge her English skills by seeing how she answers simple questions, such as “What is your favorite American movie?” This will be easy for her to answer because she will already know how to say the English title, but how she phrases her answer will, more or less, give you an idea of the level of her English skills. You can make some comments about the movie she mentions, and then ask her what she likes about it.

When you have determined how well or how poorly she communicates in English, you can properly adjust how you communicate with her so that she will be able to understand you easily. You can then proceed to ask her more about herself. Whenever you pose a question, or to introduce your question, it will help to offer the same kind of information so she will have a better idea of what you will be asking about.

For example, you can ask her about her day. First, you can tell her what you had for breakfast that morning or describe to her what your daily routine is; just remember to keep it short and sweet. Then you can ask her about how she usually starts her day. You can start with, “What do you usually have for breakfast?” or “Do you start your morning with a cup of coffee or tea?” You can follow this up with, “Do you go to a Starbucks or make your own coffee?”

If she is not comfortable with her English communication skills, she may give you very limited answers, such as a simple “Yes” or “No.” It will be up to you to get her to open up more. The key is to make her feel comfortable and you can easily do this by always offering up the same information about yourself and then helping her find the right words to express herself.

If she answers “Yes” to going to Starbucks, you can help her tell you more by saying, “I usually have the caramel macchiato, how about you? What type of coffee do you usually get?” or “Do you like your coffee very sweet? I always add extra sugar to mine.” From here, you can share each other’s eating habits and food preferences.

You must also remember to be patient and understanding, and try your best to let her know that you do not mind helping her improve her English. As they say, practice makes perfect. The more often the two of you engage in conversations/chats, the more comfortable she will be using English and opening up to you. While she is still struggling to express herself in English, take the lead in the conversation but always show respect. Additionally, give her words of encouragement when it’s appropriate.

Being a patient, understanding, and respectful guide to your Chinese lady friend while getting to know each other can go a long way in building a strong foundation for a romantic relationship; if it does not work out in the romance department, you will have, at least, gained a very good friend who can offer you guidance and valuable advice in the future, as you continue your quest for your ideal life mate.

As they say, to each his/her own.  What may be acceptable to one, may not be acceptable to another.  In the Chinese online dating setup, different cultural influences play a significant role in how a foreign man considers his actions acceptable and how a Chinese woman judges the same actions as unacceptable.  Gender differences also come into play, as well as personal ethics and beliefs independent of one’s cultural background.  Take being on a list, for example.

A foreign man, given his western background, may not see anything wrong with maintaining a list of potential partners with whom he communicates regularly online over, more or less, the same time period, and with whom he explores the possibility of taking the “relationship” to the next level, which is meeting in person and perhaps committing to a long-term, monogamous relationship.  His culture may greatly influence his ethics and beliefs and he may honestly think that the means by which he goes about his quest for a Chinese wife is sensible and acceptable.  The fact that he is a guy may or may not make him sensitive to how a China woman would feel about being on a short list of potential partners.

There are also some men whose personal ethics and beliefs are not greatly influenced by their cultural background and may feel that online dating should still be a monogamous affair even before the two have yet to meet each other in person.  Being male may not have anything to do with their more romantic and hopeful approach toward their quest.

From the point of view of a China lady, whose attitudes and behaviors are still traditional and greatly influenced by her culture, being put on a short list may be taken as a sign of dishonesty and disrespect.  Cultural influences may also make it harder for her to understand the practical nature of the behavior.  Being a woman, and given that gender discrimination have always been a serious problem in Chinese society for millennia, she may be very sensitive about and feel strongly against such treatment.

At the same time, there are more westernized Chinese women who may be more understanding of the motivations behind such a practice of elimination and selection, especially when the foreign man has been honest about it from the very beginning.  Being a woman, despite the unfair treatment of women in their society and despite her traditional upbringing, may not have anything to do with her open-mindedness.

How can such differences be reconciled?  The key factor would be honesty from both the foreign man and the China woman.  Whether or not either one of them would offer their honest feelings about being in an exclusive online relationship or being on/having a short list would be up to them.  When asked about it, however, both should be honest about what they consider acceptable and unacceptable.  If they are not on the same page, then they can cross each other off their respective lists (real or theoretical) and move on with their selection process.  At the least, they were able to eliminate a person with whom they wouldn’t have had any real future before they started investing time and emotions on each other.

According to Albert Einstein, insanity is doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results.  If one has been around the Chinese online dating scene for a while now with nothing much to show for all the time and effort you have been putting in, don’t lose hope; it is very likely that you simply need to re-evaluate your strategy.  It’s a simple process of deduction: if what you’ve been doing has not been giving you the results you want, you may want to consider the possibility that the world is not conspiring against you and that the fault lies in your actions, reactions, expectations, and/or mindset.

You may want to review your profile on the Chinese dating site you have joined.  Compare it to the profiles of other men, especially those who have a lot of activity (if it is possible to see this).  Perhaps you should use a different photo where you exude more confidence; maybe you could add more interesting information about yourself, or it’s also possible that you may want to tone it down.  Think back on those instances when a few ladies seemed very interested about some bit of information you shared (whether in the real or virtual world); you could use these details to make your profile more appealing.  You could even add a Chinese phrase that applies to you; just make sure you don’t mislead women into thinking that you have a high level of understanding of the Chinese language.

How are you reaching out to women?  If your usual “Hello” message has not gotten you a lot of responses, or none at all, you should improve on it.  Does it sound too generic/formulaic?  Maybe you’re coming off as too arrogant?  Your very first message to any China lady should be respectful, honest, and have a personal touch to it; she must feel that you wrote it especially for her.  It would help a lot if you actually took the time to read her profile so you can show a particular interest about a detail she shared.

Think about the instance(s) when a China lady, or ladies, responded to your first attempt at contact but eventually lost interest.  Of course, if they were honest about why they did not want to pursue the communication any further, then you could use that information to improve on your technique the next time.  If, however, they just suddenly stopped responding to you or gave you vague excuses about why they haven’t been responding (and if this has been a common occurrence), you should evaluate how effectively you’re communicating.  The language barrier already makes communication difficult; don’t forget that, even though you’re not talking to them face to face, your attitude and character will still show in your words and how you talk to them.  Make sure that the China lady you’re talking to knows that you’re very interested about her by asking more about herself, such as her interests, dreams, even her day.  Just be careful not to come off as being a creep.  Be curious, but always treat her with respect and kindness.  At the same time, when you talk about yourself, always be honest and don’t be afraid to show your sensitive side, just not so much that you’ll sound too needy.

Try to figure out what mistakes you may have made from your failed attempts, learn from them, and use the lessons to improve your technique and, perhaps, to also make yourself a better and more desirable potential partner.

China may have been in seclusion for many decades, and it has resisted outside influence for even longer, but it has undoubtedly made its presence known to the whole world as a super power in the last several years and, since it opened its gates to outside influence, the Middle Kingdom has been swift to catch up on a lot of significant advancements, particularly when it comes to technology. Millennia-old traditions and beliefs, on the other hand, are harder to change. In fact, there are numerous instances wherein traditional practices and attitudes clash with western influences which usually involve the younger versus the older generations. One of these clashes involves marriage traditions.

There was also a time in China when a relationship/marriage between a Chinese and a foreigner was (prohibited/so strongly disfavored as to be almost prohibited); nowadays, there are still parents who would not allow their daughter to date, much less marry a foreign man; there are those who would protest and be unhappy about such a relationship; and then, increasingly, there are those who approve of it. Depending on the lack or the level of approval of the parents, the degree to which a foreign man is made a part of the China lady’s family also varies; it is not uncommon, however, for a foreign man to feel totally isolated and excluded by his Chinese wife’s family even if her parents were 100% agreeable to their marriage.

It is often said that a foreign man who chooses a China woman for a wife does not only marry her, he also marries her family, society, and culture. Of course, this can be said of most cross-cultural marriages. With most Chinese families, a foreign man who technically becomes part of the family by marriage will always remain an outsider. There are exceptions to this generalization, and as time goes by, this kind of situation would most likely change; but for the most part, the Chinese can be stubborn about letting outsiders inside the family circle.

When a foreign man decides to live in China with his wife, this often means that his wife’s parents would be living in the same house with them; when this is the case, being excluded, especially when it comes to family decisions, when he’s the one providing for everyone can seem disrespectful. One can also feel very alone when he is left out of traditional family time, family games, excursions, and other family activities, even day-to-day conversations during dinner.

One can avoid finding himself in such a trying situation by being willing to adapt to, and maybe even assimilate, Chinese culture and his wife’s family’s traditional ways. After all, a cross-cultural marriage would already have its unique complications; a man can either make the cultural differences and other marital troubles become easier to deal with or he can aggravate them. If a man decides to marry a China woman and settle in the country, it must be because he has a sincere appreciation and respect for China’s history, culture, and people; this also means he must be ready to change some of his culturally-influenced attitudes and behaviors to accommodate Chinese norms, please his wife and her family, and make the situation easier on himself. And something that will make it even easier to be accepted, and even become a “favorite son”, is to learn to converse in the Chinese language. Suddenly he will become someone her parents and family are proud to be associated with and can’t wait to be in his company.

One can begin learning more about Chinese society, its women, and cross-cultural relationships from insightful and informative websites like OnlineChineseDating.com

Prostitutes who frequent Chinese dating sites, particularly those that cater to foreign men, often have adequate conversational English skills; they most likely developed these skills from the numerous foreign customers they have had in the real world. Since the options of foreign men looking for a partner on these matchmaking sites are often limited to women of China who can speak English to some degree, the likelihood that they will fall victim to the maneuverings of prostitutes increase.

Prostitution in China involves multiple tiers; the prostitutes are categorized based on the services they offer, who they usually service, their base of operation, or the places they frequent. As in all other countries, most prostitutes engage in this line of work as a means of supporting themselves and, sometimes, their family. There are also those who are forced into prostitution; these are usually girls from provinces who are sold in the cities. And then there are freelance prostitutes who actively made the choice to engage in the flesh trade despite being able to support themselves by other means. A lot of these girls are college students or have college education but are emotionally and psychologically damaged in some way by their family environment; they may simply be looking for a quick way to earn money or are only looking for immediate gratification because they can’t sustain genuine relationships.

Prostitutes on Chinese dating sites are the professional ones, who really need to earn money, and the freelance ones, a lot of whom are just looking for sexual relationships. Professional prostitutes, of course, provide fake details on their dating site profiles and often initiate contact with numerous foreign men. Some are more conniving and can afford to be patient and let relationships “grow” over time before they start asking for money; others are not so subtle and create stories that “justify” them asking for money. Freelance prostitutes, on the other hand, are often honest about what they are looking for. Most of the time, however, they also eventually seek financial support from their foreign “boyfriend.” They may also engage in simultaneous online relationships or move from one man to the next whenever it suits them.

How can a foreign man protect himself from these women? One of the more effective ways is to expand one’s options by learning as much of the Chinese language as possible; this way, a foreign man can also interact with Chinese women who don’t speak English. One can also ensure that he would only be dealing with honest China females, whose intentions of finding love, a relationship, and even marriage are sincere, by strictly engaging the services of a legitimate and reputable Chinese dating site. Doing adequate online research about a dating site, before engaging its services, is simple due diligence that every foreign man would be wise to practice.

There are a lot of traumatic stories and near-catastrophes involving foreign men falling victim to fraudulent activities on Chinese dating sites. A lot of these involve prostitutes and other opportunistic women who are only out to cheat men out of their money. One can learn more about these real-life experiences, as well as obtain invaluable insight about Chinese dating from blogs and forums that can be found only in the most reputable Chinese dating sites.

For some people, the attraction of opposites work; others prefer flocking together with those of the same feather.  What may work for one may not work for another.  Just as dating within one’s comfort zone does not guarantee success of a relationship and compatibility between two people, dating beyond the borders also doesn’t necessarily lead to failure of a relationship and incompatibility of two people from different cultures.  Chinese online dating has led to countless couples getting married and having their happy endings, or happy new beginnings.

What does compatibility really mean when it comes to love and relationships?  Some would say being compatible with another person means having a lot in common with them, sharing the same interests and goals, and even disliking the same things, so that they are like two peas in a pod.  Others would define it as one person’s traits complementing the other’s, with one person’s strengths being the other’s weaknesses and vice versa, so that they are like two pieces of a puzzle that fit perfectly together.  For some couples, the first type of compatibility is what works; for others, it’s the second.

Any relationship, cross-cultural or not, is always a risk.  Both parties can never really know if their separate identities would blend well or clash until they test the waters.  When a foreign man and a Chinese woman engage in a relationship, the risk of being incompatible is greater because of the cultural differences.  But while compatibility plays a big role in any relationship, it is also supported by another key player, commitment.  Regardless of how compatible, or perfect for each other, two people are, if one or both of them are not committed to making the relationship last, then it will take the path of least resistance and fall apart sooner or later.  On the other hand, despite great cultural differences, if both parties in a relationship are committed to making it work, then it would resist any challenge to its solidity.

Making the decision to seek love and a lifetime partner in a place that is vastly geographically distant and culturally dissonant already implies a willingness to commit not only to the challenging quest, but also to making one’s efforts take root, grow, and bear fruit.  When all is said and done, compatibility with another person can take any form and is still a matter of perception by the people in the relationship.  How they make their similarities and differences work is, ultimately, up to them.  Couples who have found lasting happiness through Chinese online dating may be like two peas in a pod or two disparate but complementary pieces of a puzzle; whichever the case is, it is their level of commitment that makes the pod a home filled with comfort and love or turn the puzzle into a story made whole by love, patience, and acceptance.